The Saxonator Strikes Back: This Time It's Personal

Hooray! By some miracle of ionic wizardry, the techo God has smiled upon me long enough to grant me internet access so that I can finish my second part of the post about my trip to Colorado. Hope you enjoy it!

Before I go any further, I feel obligated to share with you a recent realization that I have had during this trip. I am too sexy, too seductive, too alluring, too tempting to too many people. Or at least that is what it seemed like when I was in Colorado. Baby fat just pulls the crowds in like you wouldn't believe. Not that I am complaining, you know, because I am a born shmoozer. This is what I do. In other words, if you got a baby itch, I was made to scratch it.

Now, when we last left our intrepid adventure hero, he had arrived in the land of hot tubs and porch swings...Colorado. He had set up his base of operations at Aunt Susie's house and was beginning to run reconnaissance missions to events related to the wedding of Cousin Emily and Cousin-in-law Andrew.

The first of my missions landed me in a basement bowling alley populated by a disproportionately large number of people who looked oddly similar to Grandma Gwen. Naturally, therefore, I felt immediately at ease. I found myself drifting across the room but, oddly, not under my own steam. I had discovered a new way to travel--the mingle pass. Cousin-in-law Crystal is holding me here in the photo and this is where the adventure began. From here, I was handed to Cousin Jana who handed me to Aunt Jolene who handed me to Cousin Peter. Within the course of a few hours, I had effortlessly introduced myself to nearly every cousin, spouse, Aunt and Uncle. The key to it all was my secret weapon which I like to refer to as "the cute factor." As soon as I turn on the cute factor, I'm in business. I clap my hands a few times, scream out a few choice dadadadbabababas, smile incessantly and I pretty go where I want when I want. It's called traveling "cute class."

The next day, we went to the wedding. There aren't any photos of the ceremony because I was a little preoccupied screaming in another part of the church. I made it to the chapel, I sat down with mom and dad, the music started, we stood up, some people came in (mom and dad said it was Emily, her dad, Andrew and his dad (the priest)), we sat down. Then, Andrew's dad started to talk. I mean I know that I am new to this church thing but I could have sworn Andrew's dad specifically asked for a hallelujah. So I gave him one...or at least something that sounded like, "BRRRIIIPPPDADADA!" While I was very pleased with my response, my mom was not. She stood up and took me out of the church (just as I was warming up) and we spent the rest of the ceremony in the church cafeteria. And that is why I missed the wedding ceremony, against my will, I might add. By the way, this is Cousin Jason holding me...his tie was delicious.

We did, however, make it to the reception after the wedding. Apparently, acting up at the ceremony does not automatically disqualify you for the reception...an important thing to remember! I don't know what lottery we won but we totally scored with the seating arrangement. No, we didn't sit with the bride and groom. We didn't even sit with their parents. Think BETTER, COOLER...LOUDER. We got to sit at the kids' table. Cousin Jason, his wife, Honey and their two sons, Graham and Gage sat with us. Now, I could tell you that they are really cool big boys and you might ask, "how cool?" Two words for you people: cowboy boots. I think that says it all.

Sitting with them was awesome because they had toys to play with, Graham took a flying leap off of the back of a chair and hit his head and cried out dramatically in pain, Gage got sick and threw up a bit. I was trying so hard to poop my pants "blowout style" because I knew it would impress the big boys but, unfortunately, it just didn't happen. So, I screamed alot at the top of my lungs, pulled stuff off of the table and tried to drink my dad's beer.

On an unrelated topic, I think that the caterer really liked me. She carried me around as she was ushering people to the buffet table while my mom and dad were getting food. Just another victim of the cute factor!

I was so amped up and exhausted at the same time that by the time we were going to eat cake, I totally freaked out and mom and dad had to take me home. This photo is the prelude to the total meltdown that came about ten minutes later.

I slept like a dead man that night.

The next day, it was time for brunch at Great Aunt Karen and Great Uncle Wally's house.

Chewing on a bagel really helps kill the post-wedding beer hangover. My mom says that's impossible because I didn't drink beer. According to her, I am not hungover, I am teething. Whatever, mom.

This is cousin Peter and cousin-in-law Crystal holding me during one of my more benevolent moments. Clearly, this isn't the first baby this guy has held. You can always spot an experienced lap...good grip, not too tight centered and balanced on the legs, not too shifty.

Here we are eating in the back yard. Cousin Susan, Great Uncle Wally, Cousin Peter (i.e. the aforeto mentioned lap man), Cousin in law Crystal, dad and me.

Here are all the cousins, cousin in laws and kiddies. The totally awesome big boys are in front. I am, naturally, stuck in the back with my lame-o parents. Did I mention that the big boys made a fort in the backyard during the brunch and played with sticks that looked like guns? Meanwhile, my big highlight is chewing on a bagel. Where is the justice in this world?

Naturally, after so much activity, I had to go home for another hot tub session. I simmered at 105 degrees for about twenty minutes and then drifted, no crashed, into dreamy land.

Dad and I rode this cool bus from the car rental return to the airport the next day. I think that in the hurry to remember all the baby stuff...maybe dad forgot to brush his hair. What do you think?

I won't lie. Airplane travel is a challenge for any baby. Toys in the carry on: twenty minutes Cheerios: ten minutes. Mom and dad singing, pleading and acting ridiculous: timeless.

As you might notice in the photo, it seems that we are on the ground and I am asleep. How annoying is it when just as you finally get to sleep, you arrive at JFK Airport?

I finally made it home from Colorado and my first airplane trip and let me tell you, my bed never felt so good!