It is true. As humiliating as it may seem, my mom dressed me up as a fat monkey for Halloween. I had a suspicion that something was up when she was all smiles and happy talk as she reached into the closet and pulled out what can only be described as...horrifying.
On Halloween night, lots of my friends came over to help give out candy to trick or treaters (we had more than 1000!) . He-man and his mom and dad were there. Who is the bee, you might ask? That is my friend from music class, J.R. (as in...who shot? his mom is from Texas!) J.R. seemed most comfortable with his costume but then again, being the child of artists, this isn't his first flamboyantly striped outfit.
He-man swears that he and Sarah had "a moment" and announced today to me at playgroup that he has fallen in love with a certain crazy redhead with a penchant for pink clothing who will remain nameless.
Needless to say, the first time I put it on last Saturday to go to the park for a Halloween festival, I could barely conceal my disdain and humiliation.
The stroller could barely contain my girth. Yes, dear Saxontologist, that IS a stuffed banana protruding from my pocket. Where or where will the insult end?
Luckily, however, I was in good company. I wasn't the only poor little baby to be dressed in a humiliating outfit. Does this look like a happy lamb to you?
He-man was equally disgusted with his mom for dressing him in of all things...a cow suit. Then, she has the audacity to think that he is going to actually going to go along with it if she calls it a "baby bull." Puh-leeze!
On Halloween night, lots of my friends came over to help give out candy to trick or treaters (we had more than 1000!) . He-man and his mom and dad were there. Who is the bee, you might ask? That is my friend from music class, J.R. (as in...who shot? his mom is from Texas!) J.R. seemed most comfortable with his costume but then again, being the child of artists, this isn't his first flamboyantly striped outfit.
After we ran out of candy, He-man, Sarah and I went upstairs to play. Isn't it amazing how interesting your own toys become when other kids suddenly find them interesting.
He-man swears that he and Sarah had "a moment" and announced today to me at playgroup that he has fallen in love with a certain crazy redhead with a penchant for pink clothing who will remain nameless.
Meanwhile, I was in heaven with all these kids to play with.
And finally, this is why every child should disown his mother completely and totally by the age of 12 years old. Otherwise, this is the sort of humiliating evidence that will definitely be shown to potential girlfriends. Big deal, so I was a little engrossed in play and neglected to notice that my costume had slipped in strategically unfortunate places. Did we really have to get photographic evidence to capture the moment for posterity? Bad mommy.
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